What if Obama wrote an advice column?

Q Dear President Obama, My white shirt has chewing gum stuck to it. Any suggestions?

Vanessa Phelps, Stevenage, Herts.

A Let this be known. Where there is chewing gum, there shall always be a problem.

But let there be no doubt. It is a problem we shall overcome.

Be that gum on the lowermost reaches of the heel of your shoe, or be it on the uppermost reaches of your beehive hair-do, let this be known.

We shall not rest in our struggle for its removal.