Many moms believe that hovering has been the job description since the very first Mastadon & Me class. But the idea of constant supervision didn’t exist even a generation ago—and I can prove it. So can you: Did your mother love you? Did she also let you ride your bike until the street lights came on? Enough said…

Meanwhile, the marketplace has rushed in to reinforce this fear. That way, companies can sell us leashes for the little ones and alarms that shriek if a child wanders more than 10 feet away. There’s a new device being developed at a Japanese university that kids can strap across their shirts. It not only gives their GPS location, but it has a camera and a heartbeat monitor. So if a child’s heart starts racing, the device can immediately snap a picture of whatever is in front of them. After all, it could be a predator.

Last, but not least ludicrous, there’s the new Piggyback Rider, a backpack that can carry kids up to 60 pounds or (sit down, readers) 7 years of age. Says the product’s Web page: “It accommodates children once they are able, but unwilling, to walk.” Wouldn’t you just love to schlep around a kid like that?