Thank goodness, then, that Washington still possesses a surplus of a certain type of character: the fearless truth teller, whose authority to sit in judgment of perfidious politicians never betrays a flicker of false modesty over their unknown qualifications for the job.

Fiat justitia ruat caelum is their motto. Let justice be done though the heavens fall. And who better to lead their ranks than that paragon of civic virtue and political courage, Dick Morris, political consultant ex officio and, lately, self-appointed conscience of the Republican Party.

Look yonder, who is that man dimly glimpsed through the clearing smoke of the finished battle as humbled combatants troop wearily from the field? Is it? Why, yes, it is. It’s brave Dick; Napoleonic in stature but in martial bravado, too. He boasts no public office nor dares presumptuously to stand for any election. Nor is he accountable for the failures of government. But, oh, his courage! How manly his defiance! Look how he stands upon the ramparts still. Hail him, as he waives our tattered colors. Heed the certain trumpet of his Twitter account that blasts our summons:

“The budget deal is a total surrender by a gutless Speaker. Those who vote for it deserve a primary!!!”