Eric Massa’s tickle defense:

Upon the sudden announcement that the erratic New York Democrat was stepping down in March, word began to leak that he had been under ethics investigation for alleged sexual harassment of staffers. An indignant Massa insisted his retirement was for health reasons. He didn’t help his case any by going on Glenn Beck’s show and describing the alleged groping incident as drunken horseplay: “Not only did I grope him, I tickled him until he couldn’t breathe!” Massa later tried to claim the allegations were payback from Democrats angered by his health care stance, making him very briefly a cause célèbre on the right, until he became too radioactive even for Rush Limbaugh and faded into the woodwork.