Strange men must grope Nancy Pelosi or else the terrorists have won

I’d feel safer if Pistole and Napolitano had the full body cavity search than Grandma. Anyone involved in the creation of an airport security system that requires pilots to be checked for weapons has got to be removed from any government job and promptly institutionalized, as he is a danger to himself and others.

We’re talking about the pilot. Is there anyone in the government who can tell us why the pilot doesn’t need a box-cutter to seize control of the airplane and kill everyone on it? You there, in the back — the skinny guy with the big ears behind the teleprompter: Wanna take a guess? Bueller? Anyone? Bueller?

I’m for any program that requires Nancy Pelosi and Janet Napolitano to either be felt up or videotaped nude every morning by Jose, the $20-an-hour security guard — just as they do for the rest of us.