Most Americans who marry foreigners can initiate a process to obtain a permanent residence status for their spouses. But because of the obscenely titled Defense of Marriage Act, which President Clinton signed into law in 1996, my spouse can’t qualify for papers through me. The law prohibits the federal government from recognizing any marriage that is not between a man and a woman. And although a federal judge in Boston ruled parts of the law unconstitutional this year, it is likely to be years before the question of its legality is finally resolved. In the meantime, we remain in limbo…

This all leaves me in a quandary: Must I renounce my U.S. citizenship so that I can live in the country of my birth with the person I love?

I hold out hope for legislative change that will remedy this situation, but it has been years already and I don’t feel that I can wait much longer. I want to live my relationship fully, but with every day that passes, I get the sense that doing so may be incompatible with my remaining a U.S. citizen or staying in the country.