The bill of rights, 2010 style

I Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof [EXCEPT WHEN SUCH EXERCISE TAKES PLACE IN PUBLIC SETTINGS IN A MANNER THAT MIGHT OFFEND OTHERS. NEED TO FIND SOME WAY TO EXEMPT OUR ISLAMIC FRIENDS]; or abridging the freedom of speech [UNLESS SUCH SPEECH–ESPECIALLY BROADCAST SPEECH–IS HATEFUL], or of the press [UNLESS IT ENGAGAGES IN HATEFUL SPEECH]; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances [AS LONG AS SUCH ASSEMBLY OR PETITION IS DONE IN A NON-HATEFUL MANNER].