How marriage proposals became negotiations

The engagement negotiation is not some repackaged version of the female proposal or part of an ultimatum. This new ritual simply points to a less unilateral and more pragmatic approach. In a world where two young people are juggling goals, the proposal language sounds something like: “I’ll be finishing up medical school, and then I’ll be doing my residency, so maybe we can do the wedding between the residency and my fellowship. So what if you propose in June?”…

Even so, do not mistake this for a level playing field. While there is more negotiation and compromise about the marriage timetable, Ms. Miller says her research showed that the man still holds the power to shut down the marriage conversation. Men in their 20s and 30s don’t seem to view the backroom negotiation as emasculating or ceding their turf to a generation of empowered women either. On the contrary—all this talking may have simply eliminated the only scary aspect of a proposal for a man: that the woman will say no.