How about a color-coded alert system for economic attacks?

• Code Blue. A general risk of economic attack. Always the first sign of impending danger. This is when we (the ones we’ve been waiting for!) are told we have no clue what’s best for us.

This is when Nancy Pelosi speaks. This is when “something must be done.” This is when elected officials go on imaginary listening tours and feign interest in the riff-raff’s concerns. This is when we, with only a faint understanding of specifics, are still open to some feel-good, nebulous health care reform.

It is, after all, a moral imperative. A sacred duty. A historical obligation…

• Code Orange. “Scaremongering.” High risk of economic attack. Congress tries to ram through legislation. But Americans begin to figure out that a public option means, in the long-term, a mandated single-payer plan. Then political disaster strikes. Old folks figure out that Ivy League slicksters want to take something from them. They freak out.

First Nazi accusation appears. Moral preening. Children dying. Town halls rocking. Nihilists rising. Wingnuts organizing. Jackboots marching. Congresspeople hiding. God Almighty says do it. Polls fall. Panic ensues. Change the subject. Bush is still evil.