Let's Play 'Count The Spots' with Tim Walz

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It's one thing to lie about your military service. It's bad if you lie about whether you allowed the largest city in the state you govern burn to the ground all in the name of 'Vive La Revolution'. You are being charitable if you also accept that Tim Walz lied about whether he was the head coach or just a defensive coordinator. 

The lies start piling up and become off-putting when you lie about going through in vitro fertilization when you didn't. Lies are worse when you discover someone as a 31-year old driving drunk at 96 mph in a 55 mph zone, and lying about losing their hearing as an attempt to get out from under the resulting court hearing. 

It's pretty rotten when you lie about whether you signed legislation to allow for the removal of teen kids from their parents' home if they decide they want to change gender and do not get permission from mom and/or dad. It's really bad to lie about our decrepit President Biden as being totally fit to serve two weeks before joining the Brutus squad to knife him and leave him on the side of the Forum. 

But when you lie about your dog? Come on, man. 

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Even people who are militantly pro-abortion usually draw the line at someone who mistreats dogs. What happened to Scout 1? Or is this Scout 1 and Scout 2 we're talking about here? Is Tim on Scout 12 by now? Is Scout disappearance and replacement a serial thing with Walz? He seems weird enough to consider the possibilities. How many Scout's does it take to make up a Tim Walz narrative that he's a dog lover? 

I grew up in Southern California. In my childhood, there was a used car dealer in Long Beach called Worthington Ford. Cal Worthington was 92 by the time he went to his reward in 2013, and during the 20-year heart of his career, he created and starred in hundreds of radio and television ads from his lot featuring his dog, "Spot". Spot might be a gorilla, a tiger, an emu, an elephant, a snake, you never knew. That was part of the charm. I'm not sure if Spot ever was a dog in one of these commercials, but every other creature on Noah's Ark was featured at some point. Here's the thing. Cal was a used car salesman, an industry not known for its truth-telling in the first place. And second, it was shtick. Everyone knew it was shtick. 

What's Walz' excuse? What kind of goofball are you that you just change out dogs - different breeds, different colors, and think that people are stupid enough to not figure it out at some point? 

Note to future political party candidate vetters. Check the animal history. And while you're at it, to quote another staple on television when I was growing up, Bob Barker, remember to have Scout, whichever Scout Walz is currently on, spayed or neutered. 

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