How to get a paycheck from the EPA without really trying: Telework without working, or go to the office and watch porn

If you can read this addendum to yesterday’s EPA post without slamming your head onto your desk, I salute you.

On Tuesday, the Associated Press reported that inspectors general are up in arms over the Environmental Protection Agency’s Office of Homeland Security operating as a “rogue law enforcement agency” and agency employees actively blocking their investigations into employee misconduct. The House Oversight Committee held a hearing on these alleged improprieties this morning, and according to the prepared testimony of Deputy Assistant Inspector General for Investigations Allan Williams, last year’s case of former employee John C. Beale defrauding taxpayers of nearly a million dollars while pretending to be a CIA operative was just the beginning of the waste/fraud/abuse.

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An employee at the Environmental Protection Agency downloaded more than 7,000 pornographic files onto a government computer and viewed them for two to six hours a day, according to the agency’s independent watchdog.

The worker, who wasn’t identified, was watching pornography when a special agent showed up at his work space, Allan Williams, the EPA’s deputy assistant inspector general for investigations, told lawmakers today.

“True deterrence of employee misconduct at the EPA ultimately rests with agency executives and managers to set a tone that ensures such behavior will not be condoned,” Williams told the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform. …

The employee caught viewing pornography is still on the payroll, earning about $120,000 a year, and the case has been referred to the Justice Department for prosecution, Williams said.

Not only did that employee earn six figures — he earned, ahem, “performance rewards.” Via the WFB:

Rep. John Mica (R., Fla) questioned Allan Williams, the deputy assistant inspector general for investigations at the House Oversight Committee over the employees’ “work activities.”

“So this guy is making $120,000, spending two to six hours a day looking at porno. Then this information I have is he received performance awards during the time period?” Mica asked Williams.

Williams responded, “Uh, he possibly did. Yes, sir.”

In an entirely separate instance, another manager allowed an employee to collect full pay and benefits without reporting to work. It reportedly started out as a work-from-home accommodation for a medical condition, except that the employee wasn’t actually doing any work either — and yet managed to collect a casual $500,000 or so over several years, as well as cash bonuses based on excellent performance appraisals. Astounding.

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As Chairman Issa put it in the hearing this morning, the EPA is “running an organization from which no one can get fired.” Who wants to make bets about this kind of waste, fraud, incompetence, negligence, and lack of oversight being unique to the 16,000 employees of the Environmental Protection Agency?

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