Warning: These are two-and-a-half of some of the more deeply aggravating minutes though which I have ever forced myself to sit. Steel yourselves.

In case you’re just not finding the fortitude it takes to watch this sucker (a sentiment with which, I assure you, you’d have complete sympathy from this girl), here’s the rundown: Women of various age-ethnicity-background diversities testify that they have been longtime Republican voters, but that in recent years, something’s up with the Republican party. It’s gotten so darn extreme, what with their crazy statist views on contraception and abortion, and not wanting equal pay for women. There are just so few “moderate” Republicans left. If you’re a conservative women, and you believe in small government, Barack Obama is your candidate, because “he’s keeping the government out of decisions that should remain between you and God and you and your own conscience.”

Just take a second and wrap your head around that. If you’re a woman and you believe in small government, Barack Obama is your guy. …The mind reels.

First of all, equal pay for women? That ship has sailed, and how! Please stop making a federal case out of non-issue that only perpetuates stereotypes and limitations.

Secondly, small government? President Obama has put the expansion of both our federal government and our federal debt on steroids, and ObamaCare is the biggest overstep into everybody’s health-care decisions in the history of the United States. And honestly now, enough is enough with the damned lie that conservatives want to get “statist” with contraception — you can have all the contraception you want, I just don’t want to be forced to pay for your contraception. It’s your business. Democrats are very clearly the party affording the federal government greater authority in people’s private decisions of late, not the other way around.

Thirdly, the fact that they’re trying to make “women’s issues” a deciding factor in this presidential race — so suddenly crucial that’s it’s ostensibly worthy of a party-switcheroo — is utterly galling. In the face of our wretched economy and all of President Obama’s failed policies across all spheres, they’re trying to scare women into thinking that those extremist Republicans want force them all back to the days of Puritanism. If that isn’t a testament to how laughably little the Democrats really have to go on this time around, I don’t know what is.