Change you can drink?

I’ve enjoyed Jones Sodas for a few years, at least the diet Jones, which gets served at Panera. This much sugar, I’m not sure even non-diabetics can endure. Jones becomes the latest company to cash in on Hope and Change, amplifying the weird hero-worship we saw during the presidential campaign to new heights — or new lows, depending on your view:

Jones Soda loves to release special flavors — and sometimes, they’re not so tasty. (Remember when I tried ham soda, Christmas tree soda and other holiday varieties? Blech.)

However, in honor of our new president, the company has released Orange (You Glad for Change) Cola. The beverage “has a light citrus flavor that makes this cola one of a kind.” The bottles also feature President Obama’s photo.

That may have Pepsi seeing Mountain Dew Red, since they’re sponsoring a big inaugural ball for Obama.  They’ve also sent their CEO, Indra Nooyi, to an Obama dinner this week that focused on foreign policy, presumably to discuss trade issues.  Perhaps readers might remember Nooyi best for her 2005 speech to Columbia University in which she referred to the United States as a “middle finger” to the rest of the world:

However, if used inappropriately — just like the U.S. itself — the middle finger can convey a negative message and get us in trouble. You know what I’m talking about. In fact, I suspect you’re hoping that I’ll demonstrate what I mean. And trust me, I’m not looking for volunteers to model.

Discretion being the better part of valor…I think I’ll pass.

What is most crucial to my analogy of the five fingers as the five major continents, is that each of us in the U.S. — the long middle finger — must be careful that when we extend our arm in either a business or political sense, we take pains to assure we are giving a hand…not the finger. Sometimes this is very difficult. Because the U.S. — the middle finger — sticks out so much, we can send the wrong message unintentionally.

Unfortunately, I think this is how the rest of the world looks at the U.S. right now. Not as part of the hand — giving strength and purpose to the rest of the fingers — but, instead, scratching our nose and sending a far different signal.

Sounds like she’d fit right in with Obama’s foreign-policy team, especially with Susan Rice, Samantha Power, and Robert Malley when he eventually returns.

At least Jones has made this relatively accessible for the little people.  They’re only charging $15 for a six-pack of the Orange You Glad For Change Cola, or $24 for a cost-saving twelve-pack.  However, this looks like a great candidate for enterprising Photoshoppers, especially to replace the “Pure Cane Soda” tagline above the adoring picture of Barack Obama.  That’ll be more fun than spending $2.50 a bottle for the soda itself, and a lot less expensive fun at that.

Update:  Here’s the first Photoshop, courtesy of HA reader Landshark:

I’m actually a little surprised they didn’t go the “grapeful” route in the first place.  Excellent work, Landshark!