How do Minnesotans deal with -15F temperatures in January?  This is my twelfth winter here, and so far, this has been the coldest — after last year’s deep freeze set that bar.  Mostly we just stay indoors.  Even the hardiest of outdoor sportsmen (and sportswomen) pack it up for the days when we don’t get above zero for a high, and dive into double-digit negatives for the lows.

I discovered the reason for that native wisdom earlier today when returning from the First Mate’s regular blood test for her transplants.  The roads form ice at that temperature that salt and gravel don’t touch, especially when that cold is immediately preceded by snowfall, as it was today.  We saw a number of spinouts off the roads, but being careful usually makes the difference … usually.

We had made it almost all the way home and was literally entering into my housing tract when our luck ran out.  A truck turned left in front of me, not paying attention, and my evasive maneuver sent the Honda SUV into a spin, thanks to the ice on the street.  Fortunately, or so I thought, I went head first into a big snowbank and off the road.  No sweat, thought I.  I had spun out a few times earlier, but hadn’t ever had to pull out of a snowbank — but I figured, How hard could it be?  It’s just light, fluffy, pretty snow!

Uh … right.  Underneath the 1/4″ of light-fluffy-pretty, I had buried the car into heavy-ugly ice about three feet high.  Even my car’s all-wheel drive couldn’t get me out of the snowbank.  I had to exit the vehicle in -15F, and let me tell you, no amount of clothing will keep you warm for long at that temperature.  The truck driver returned when he saw what happened and offered to get a shovel from the nearby city maintenance yard.  Two other people stopped to offer assistance as well.

We broke one rope and some heavy electrical wire trying to pull my car out of the snowbank.  Eventually, three of us took turns digging out snow from under the car, which aggravated my already-cranky back.  After about ten minutes, we used the heavy electrical line again as a towrope and yanked the car bank onto the road.  We exchanged pleasantries briefly, and fled back into the warmth of our running vehicles.

So how do we deal with -15F temperatures in Minnesota?  Seasonal agoraphobia, I think, is the best prescription.  The next time anyone sees me outside this house will be April.