This is simultaneously hilarious and reflective of a basic truth.

Demi Lovato, a former Disney star and current singer, has quit using neopronouns and gone back to the plain old standard English ones that the rest of us use.

Why?

Because it is “exhausting.”

True enough, but if it is exhausting for the people demanding that their pronouns be changed on a whim, imagine how exhausting it is for those of us who are required to keep up lest we be accused of violence and genocide.

Demi Lovato ‘got tired’ of using ‘they/them’ pronouns: ‘It was absolutely exhausting’ https://t.co/93FDcEKMl0 pic.twitter.com/wh8ta5qZEZ

— Page Six (@PageSix) June 14, 2023

Demi Lovato switched back to identifying as “she/her” in addition to “they/them” because she “got tired” of explaining the meaning behind the latter pronouns.

“I constantly had to educate people and explain why I identified with those pronouns. It was absolutely exhausting,” the “Cool for the Summer” singer told GQ Hype Spain in an interview published Tuesday.

“I just got tired. But for that very reason I know that it is important to continue spreading the word.”

Lovato, who is currently dating musician Jutes, also said she wishes for more gender-neutral spaces for everyone, as she has found herself torn over basic amenities such as sex-assigned bathrooms and paperwork.

“Torn over basic amenities such as sex-assigned bathrooms and paperwork.”

Grow up. We have social norms and standardized parts of language for a reason, and it is not to cater to the vicissitudes of random people’s emotions. It is to make society work relatively smoothly.

It is, in Lovato’s words, absolutely exhausting to walk on eggshells around people who may break down at a moment’s notice because we adhere to social norms that make life possible in a society with 330 million people from all walks of life. There is simply no way to constantly individualize every interaction with a random person we may never see again, so we have norms that grease the social wheels.

Language itself must be, for the most part, standardized so that we have a clue what is being communicated. 5-year-old siblings can have a secret language, but in public, we must use a common language or basic life becomes impossible.

The exhaustion, though, is the point for many of the alphabet people. The goal is to wear you down and make you afraid. It is a power play.

Now Demi Lovato has more than enough power, so after a bit of clout chasing she can drop the pretense and go back to standard English. A Starbucks barista without a lot of social clout will grab as much as they can by demanding you comply or face a tantrum.

Social norms are not always perfect, and when unnecessarily offensive they should evolve. But changing norms at the whim of people who demand special treatment is a stupid and, yes, exhausting game.