I am sitting here trying to think of something profound to say, and am stumped.
Should it be funny but touching? Inspirational and uplifting? Deeply researched and historical?
Maybe a good rant against the Marxists destroying the West. I always love ranting against revolutionaries.
The Deep State is a good target, and for that matter Target these days is a good target. Should I complain that even Harley Davidson has gone all woke on us?
Naah. I don’t have it in me this morning. Honestly, I just want to make some Huevos Rancheros and then do a few chores before vegging out for the rest of the day.
So rather than write something that has a deep meaning or even gives you a chuckle, I instead will simply present to you the best funnies of the week.
Enjoy!
The newspaper of record speaks:
Gandalf The White Returns As Gandalf The Black Upon Hearing About $1 Million Reparations https://t.co/x3MRwhstI8 pic.twitter.com/KzCJc4mxYP
— The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) May 28, 2023
Archeologists Uncover Target Store Ruins From Sodom And Gomorrah https://t.co/hni8Ugjxhg pic.twitter.com/A4D5QVp68L
— The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) May 27, 2023
Innocent Multi-Billion Dollar Corporation Ruthlessly Attacked By People Not Giving Them Money https://t.co/waPBiylemu pic.twitter.com/44K2oocc0M
— The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) May 25, 2023
Jordan Peterson Considers Every Possible Meaning Of Bible Story Except That It Might Mean Exactly What It Says https://t.co/sz6UTTE96h pic.twitter.com/0LKvObviET
— The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) May 28, 2023
Governor Newsom To Require All Toddler Racecar Beds Be Electric By 2030 https://t.co/huL7WEk6xt pic.twitter.com/udj2PQj2oC
— The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) May 27, 2023
Man With Terrible Imposter Syndrome Also Really Bad At His Job https://t.co/JDtf4xHdmy pic.twitter.com/4KORmfbbZu
— The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) May 27, 2023
Mechanic Determines Car Repairs Will Cost Whatever Your Whole Paycheck Is This Month https://t.co/sUKvx6qgBh pic.twitter.com/PPbUlSbifY
— The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) May 27, 2023
LASIK Surgeon Offering ‘Total Blindness’ Option For Pride Month https://t.co/RBTtX8fXwo pic.twitter.com/Y14PkG53jO
— The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) May 27, 2023
'Psst! Hey Kid, Wanna Change Your Gender?' Says Target Dog Emerging From Clothes Rack https://t.co/2rEHe9ZEgA pic.twitter.com/6KYhnw5HR5
— The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) May 27, 2023
Nation Unsure How The Government Not Being Able To Borrow More Money Is A Crisis https://t.co/FTlbjKPm5e pic.twitter.com/rLOlDbQa9R
— The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) May 27, 2023
Kamala Harris Visits Tomb Of Unknown Soldier To Tell Him To Enjoy The Long Weekend https://t.co/M62SKKMLSX pic.twitter.com/xJ8Eq6C3JM
— The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) May 26, 2023
'Florida Is A Mismanaged Hellhole And Only An Idiot Would Live There,' Says Trump https://t.co/LdBw0PrTcp pic.twitter.com/U8ipuFprMy
— The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) May 26, 2023
Homeschooler Looking Forward To Last Day Of School In 12 Years https://t.co/azmjmjY2nQ pic.twitter.com/sLAE8k9zvl
— The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) May 26, 2023
Random interesting tweets, too:
The number of finger joints on each hand (excluding the thumb) makes it possible to count to 12 by using the thumb. Egyptians and Babylonians were fond of counting in base twelve like this and this is why we have 24 hours in a day & 60 minutes in an hour https://t.co/zIZ5sMw9OY pic.twitter.com/7ruEBMPvSJ
— Massimo (@Rainmaker1973) May 25, 2023
— Extreme Failure (@ExtremeFaiIs) May 11, 2023
legendary shot pic.twitter.com/osDvSXegXn
— Enezator (@Enezator) March 5, 2023
Social Media and Real life pic.twitter.com/LcjVHVgyRj
— Enezator (@Enezator) February 25, 2023
In 1978, James Burke made this perfectly timed shot on television and is widely considered "The Greatest Shot In Television History" pic.twitter.com/qDCYgyZNaa
— Historic Vids (@historyinmemes) May 17, 2023
And finally, your dose of cuteness for the weekend:
Uber driver.pic.twitter.com/ze5Mf0mN8U
— cats with jobs (@CatWorkers) May 24, 2023
sports cat pic.twitter.com/kktaiJEshk
— Enezator (@Enezator) May 21, 2023
— cute pets for those who are tired of politics (@relievingpets) April 20, 2023
— Animals Being Bros (@AnimalBeingBro5) May 28, 2023
— cute pets for those who are tired of politics (@relievingpets) April 26, 2023
And finally…who says cats don’t understand humans?
just pretend nothing happened pic.twitter.com/V6dIa6AE1x
— animals going goblin mode (@mischiefanimals) April 19, 2023
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