University of Helsinki gives Greta Thunberg a Doctorate of Theology

AP Photo/Jason DeCrow

Climate Change is a religion. We all know that.

The University of Helsinki has decided to make that official by giving Greta Thunberg an honorary Doctorate of Theology at the ripe old age of 20.


Pretty sure she hasn’t graduated from High School, but maybe I am wrong. I thought she dropped out to become a climate change activist. Now that she is Dr. Thunberg she can glue herself to Volkswagens or something. Isn’t that what activists with Ph. D.s do these days?

I am pretty sure that the University of Helsinki is supposed to be a serious institution. They don’t send degrees in the mail after you send them $99 or something like that. It is the oldest and largest university in Finland, and as far as I know, isn’t run by complete morons.

At least I used to assume that. Now I have to revise my assessment.

At first, I thought that there must be some mistake. But no, I went to the website of the University and they actually did just announce the list of people getting honorary doctorates, and yes, Greta was on that list.

Along with a bunch of, I assume, actually thoughtful people who have something relevant to say about theology. If I were on that list I would ask to get off it, frankly. As prestigious as an honorary doctorate is, I wouldn’t want mine cheapened by a stunt like this.


That’s a pretty prestigious list of people, all of whom I must assume have something other to say than “HOW DARE YOU?!

The world has gone insane. Greta Thunberg is still, for all intents and purposes, a child with childish thoughts. She claims to understand science, but she started her children’s crusade as a young teen.

When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became an adult, I put an end to childish ways. [1 Corinthians 13:11]

Greta has yet to put an end to her childish ways, yet she has been elevated to sainthood by the Left.

The Children’s Crusade of 1212 led to disaster, and anybody following Saint Greta’s advice would create a similar catastrophe:

According to the chronicles, the Children’s Crusade was an utter disaster. Few of the Crusaders returned from their journey; most died of hunger or thirst or were drowned at sea, while others were sold as slaves. The chroniclers’ story carried a clear message: God did not will it. Be this as it may, the Children’s Crusade did confirm Innocent III’s belief that Crusading enthusiasm was far from dead. Less than one year later he summoned the Fifth Crusade.


I just wrapped up a different essay about the encroachment of junk theology into the public discourse that I have lined up for publication tomorrow morning, but this confirms the point in that piece: too many Christian thinkers are sophists who begin with their prejudices and work backward from those to generate theological arguments to satisfy their priors.

They aren’t trying to discern the mind of God, but to use the authority of God to enforce their ideological commitments on the rest of us. In tomorrow’s essay, I discuss a pastor who argues that drag is holy, and Jesus is God in drag. This comes from the same theological space: the modern Left worships a nonexistent Gaia and uses appeals to Christianity to shove their fake religion down our throats.

I have no particular problem with Greta Thunberg because her public persona is a construction forced upon us by the adults around her. She has been groomed, not sexually, but ideologically to become an idol paraded around for us to worship. The innocence of a child who we are to believe we are despoiling in our desire for wealth.

The truth is that the people who have despoiled her future are those who celebrate her narcissistic activism. They have created a monstrous person and called her a saint.


Yet we are supposed to follow Greta into the same sort of disaster that met the 1212 Children’s Crusade.

Yeah, whatever. Greta lectures us about the evils of capitalism, as capitalism does this:

By Max Roser based on World Bank and Bourguignon and Morrisson (2002). –, CC BY-SA 3.0,

Greta Thunberg is not a saint, contra the University of Helsinki. She is a spoiled child who belongs in school, not that many schools actually teach how to reason properly these days.

There’s no point in despising a spoiled child.

Her enablers? Those people I despise.

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