It looks like Donald Trump is going to have his work cut out for him if he really wants to make America great again. According to a new poll, a solid majority of Americans do not consider the best Christmas movie ever made to actually be a Christmas movie:
Public Policy Polling, a national polling firm based in Raleigh, North Carolina, released the results of a holiday-themed survey on Tuesday. The poll included a number of weird questions like Santa Claus’ political party affiliation, whether the Grinch was genuinely rehabilitated at the end of Dr. Seuss’ “How the Grinch Stole Christmas” and the “favorite in the reindeer primary.” Shortly after the poll was released, Rudolph Graham announced he’d be dropping out of the reindeer primary due to lagging poll numbers.
If you’re a movie buff, you might have noticed that the pollsters also asked about the status of “Die Hard” as a Christmas movie. According to the poll, which questioned 1,267 registered voters (80 percent by phone and 20 percent online), 62 percent of Americans don’t think it qualifies as such, while 13 percent of those polled disagree.
No wonder we’re having so much trouble in politics. If 62% of Americans can’t recognize the fact that Die Hard is a Christmas movie, then there’s no way they can see through the other nonsense perpetuated by the mainstream media.
After all, unlike all the murky political issues we face as a nation, it’s not as if there can be any question of Die Hard’s Christmas movie status. As I explained last year, not only does Die Hard’s entire plot hinge on the Christmas setting, but it also contains every major theme for which Christmas films are famous. Even the music evokes the feeling of Christmas, and by far the most well-known line from the film outside of McClane’s catch phrase is “Now I have a machine gun, ho ho ho.”
That it can simultaneously delight audiences with its awesome and explosive action sequences just makes it that much better than all the other, lesser Christmas films out there. And unlike everyone’s favorite choice, It’s a Wonderful Life, it wasn’t a box office bomb that only became popular because the TV networks were able to run it on a loop every year without having to worry about paying royalties.
Perhaps there is hope though. The poll says only 42% of people claim they don’t actually put alcohol in their Eggnog, so most of that 62% may just have been drunk when they answered the phone. (Most people preferred to add Rum to it.)
Also on the bright side, at least Americans still prefer multi-colored lights to white lights on Christmas trees and to open presents Christmas morning rather than Eve, and 76% of us think we were good enough this year to be on Santa’s Nice List. 2% more Democrats than Republicans admitted they belonged on the Naughty List, which you can take as either Republicans being bigger liars or Democrats being more naughty.
Trump supporters will be happy to know that, while most people do not think there is a War on Christmas, if there were a War on Christmas, he’d be the most trusted candidate to defend America against it by far with 29% of the vote. Ben Carson comes in second at 16%, and Hillary Clinton of all people slides into third with 15%, just above Ted Cruz’s 14%.
Even though Rubio tied for last on that question with Bernie Sanders, neither he nor Die Hard are the biggest losers from this poll though. Instead that honor has to go to Mitch McConnell, who actually has a lower favorability rating than the Grinch of all people. Maybe it’s because the Grinch gave back all the stuff he stole from the Whos down in Whoville, whereas our government seems intent on stealing as much of our stuff as possible every year with giant omnibus bills just before Christmas.
Despite that, and despite all the social justice warriors running around, 88% of Americans still have a favorable view of Christmas, which is great because I’d like to close this post with both my sincerest thanks for all of you taking the time to read my posts and leave your comments as well as my wishes that you have a safe and wonderful Christmas.
I’d also like to add a special thanks to Ed, Jazz, Allahpundit, and everyone behind the scenes at HotAir for letting me write here for the past few months. It has been a genuine pleasure.
So Merry Christmas everyone! Now go watch Die Hard again.
For more of what I think about entertainment and politics, follow me on Twitter @crankytrex or check out my other writing at buzzpo.com.
Update (Ed): [fist pump] Yeeeeessssssssssssssss.
Update (AP): A people wise enough to recognize that Die Hard isn’t a Christmas movie is a people wise enough not to elect Trump. I’m treating this as definitive proof that Cruz (or maybe Rubio) will be the nominee.
Here’s the partisan breakdown from the poll. Advantage: GOP.