No, they’re not available for all your grasscutting needs. They’re just here to tease you.

Top speed: 133 mph and 0-60 in 4.0 seconds. Though it only seems to actually cut grass at 15 mph. I wonder how it does on gas; maybe it’s just Honda’s entrant into the Smart Car market, and this is their way of pitching it to rubes like me. Not a tiny Euro-car, but a super-fast lawnmower, Red America! Clever.

Presenting the Mean Mower:

Honda, in conjunction with Top Gear magazine and racing outfit Team Dynamics, has built a high performance ride-on lawn mower capable of reaching speeds up to 130 mph.

And, yes, it can still cut the grass.

The so-called Mean Mower started out as a production Honda HF2620 Lawn Tractor before the team replaced its stock 20 hp motor with the 109 hp 1,000 cc V-twin from a Honda VTR1000 Firestorm sport bike along with its six-speed transmission and reengineered the suspension to handle a set of ATV wheels and tires.

A Scorpion exhaust system pumps up the volume to an ear-shattering 130 decibels, compared to about 106 db for a typical mower, while a Cobra racing seat was fitted to keep up with the bump in performance, now good enough to accelerate the grass assassin to 60 mph in four seconds.

It’s a joint project of Honda, Top Gear, and a British racing team, which means you get to see The Stig drive it:

Bloomberg puts its stats up against a Porsche: