Too many appetizers to bother listing.
Kick-off the main event with:
And then some Ham
And a choice of stuffings:
Cornbread Stuffing or
Or WTH have both.
Then some Greens naturally.
And, of course, Sweet Potatoes.
And it would be anti-American not to have Mashed Potatoes.
And don’t forget the Green Bean Casserole.
Oh, and a mountain of Macaroni and Cheese too.
And, to be polite, unlimited Dinner Rolls.
Now the good part:
Since the First Lady has OKd pies for ordinary Americans to consume this day and since, let’s be honest, she’s not doing the baking and neither is her Mom and he’s not doing the dishes, order up a slab of all six pies (6, as in VI):
Apple Pie (Michigan’s a battleground state, you know) and
Pumpkin Pie (it’s patriotic) and
Banana Cream Pie to cleanse the palate for
Cherry Pie and
Huckleberry Pie and
The Main Man’s Fave: Sweet Potato Pie.
Coma to come.
Thank you for your service.
(UPDATE Friday: Working off some of this feast, Obama was playing basketball with friends Friday and caught a new former friend’s elbow in the mouth. 12 stitches. No salt in tonight’s popcorn.)
( Malcolm is the Top of the Ticket blogger at latimes.com/ticket )