I’ve been noticing some buzz around the media today over a “special report” from the Southern Poverty Law Center (which is generally indistinguishable from the ACLU or the DNC most days) describing how horrible the election of Donald Trump is, particularly in terms of the effect it’s having on the children. While it sounds like it was written in some sort of workshop from an alternate universe, they describe incidents of students experiencing all manner of negative emotional reactions and deteriorating interactions with their peers. And, of course, this can all be attributed to someone who won’t be sworn into office for almost two more months.

Teaching Tolerance conducted a previous survey in March, when we asked teachers how the primary campaign season was affecting our nation’s students. The 2,000 educators who responded reported that the primary season was producing anxiety among vulnerable students and emboldening others to new expressions of politicized bullying. Teachers overwhelming named the source of both the anxiety and the behavior as Donald Trump, then a leading contender for the Republican nomination.

Since Trump was elected, media have been awash in reports of hate incidents around the nation, including at schools. Some detractors have characterized the reports as isolated, exaggerated or even as hoaxes. This survey, which was distributed by several organizations (see About the Survey for a complete list), via email and social media, offers the richest source of information about the immediate impact of the election on our country. The findings show that teachers, principals and district leaders will have an oversized job this year as they work to heal the rifts within school communities.

The “incidents” they describe include heightened states of anxiety, cases of derogatory language and harassment. It’s been quite a few decades since I graduated, but frankly that sounds like pretty much any day in the ninth grade to me.

I’ll leave these studies to the experts I suppose, but once Trump is in office and ready to go to work there are a number of incidents I’d like to see taking place in a real world Trump Effect on the schools. Here’s a partial list:

1. Schools will have improved security inasmuch as budget constraints allow. Locks, security cameras and either armed security or trained teachers with carry permits (both if desired) should be on hand in case of a crazed intruder. Shelter in place plans and training will be mandatory.

2. Tests will actually mean something. Some students will excel. Others will be identified as needing additional help to achieve success and that should be made available. Not everyone gets a trophy, but every student who is willing to put in at least the minimum amount of effort should have the chance to succeed.

3. Teachers will be evaluated along with the students. There’s no room for dead wood if you’re going to use the available budget effectively. Failing teachers will be replaced. High performing teachers should be able to earn more and we don’t need to hear any more lectures about tenure.

4. The boys will use the boys locker room and shower and the girls will stick to theirs. And lest there be any confusion, they need to have correct chromosomal structure and external genitalia to qualify for each. (Accommodations can and should be made for the 1 in 1,500 children born with “ambiguous genitalia” as required.) School funding will not be cancelled or decreased for schools who refuse to throw gender norms out the window.

5. Not every student will be forced to attend the local public school if there are better options available and parents should be encouraged to explore which is the best fit for them and their family. Vouchers should be the rule of the day.

6. Continually disruptive, abusive or violent students will be given a couple of chances at redemption but after that they are the parent’s problem. The rest of the kids who actually want to get an education and make something of themselves should not be penalized for the failures of a few sets of parents raising bad kids.

I could add more, but that would be plenty to get us going. You want to see a “Trump Effect” on the schools? This would be a great start.