So… where was the website where you sign up for one way tickets to live on Mars again?

I’ve lost track of the number of SJW stories we’ve covered here which deal with issues surrounding “transgender” citizens (or more appropriately, gender impersonators in medical terms) but most of them at least have the benefit of involving adults who are arguing issues ingrained in liberal social policy. This past week, however, I checked the website of the Washington Post and was treated to the following headline:

Don’t laugh: I have a serious reason for raising my cats gender-neutral

There’s no avoiding this one, folks. We’ll just have to buckle up and click on the link.

My new cats were freaking out. In carriers in the back seat of the car, they yowled their displeasure. I reassured them: “Don’t worry boys, we’ll be home soon.”

Whoops! I had called them boys, when in fact they were girls. An understandable mistake, as I’ve had cats for about 50 years, and all of them have been male. “I’m going to have to work on using the right pronouns,” I thought. And then another thought: “Why? They’re cats.”

That’s when I decided to raise my cats to be gender neutral.

Of course my first instinct was to call animal control and see if I could convince them to visit the author, Lauren R. Taylor, and remove the pets from her home. It’s bad enough when nut jobs try to raise their dogs and cats as vegans, but surely this was taking things to a new extreme.

As it turns out, however, the cats are in no danger and I needn’t have worried. Taylor isn’t spending her time trying to force her female cats into tuxedos or offering them gender specific litter boxes and badgering them to use the one for the Tomcats. This was all an exercise in training herself to refer to the cats in “gender neutral” terms with the awkward and broken pronouns that always entails. And speaking as a lifelong cat owner, I can assure you that the cats aren’t paying any attention and really don’t care. (I can’t even get mine to come when I call them more than two out of five times unless I’m opening a can of tuna.)

But this is yet another example of the incredible mental and linguistic gymnastics taking place across the SJW movement for no reason whatsoever. I’m sure I’m just feeding into the white, cis-male heteronormative paradigm here or something, but I maintain my right to observe these societal gyrations and simply break into laughter. I’m not saying you can’t do it, mind you. I’m simply reserving the right to remind you that the vast majority of us find your insistence on doing this both pointless and amusing.

And that’s the point of bringing this up today. What Ms. Taylor says to her cats in the privacy of her home or how she refers to them while out and about with her friends is her business. It’s not my place to dictate her speech patterns for her. I don’t care. But that happy truce has been broken by the Social Justice Warriors lately when it comes to human beings and I will once again assert my right to inform you that I will not be made to care. Not by you and not through any mandates you attempt to bring down on the rest of society’s head through control of liberal government policies.

Your cats are actually the gender they were born with based on the makeup of their genetic structure. And so are you. Just check your 23rd chromosomal pair if you have any questions. In the meanwhile, pick out some nice new cat toys and a comfortable litter box and have a ball.