From what? What kind of horror can challenge a society as sophisticated and resilient as ours? Reason’s Remy takes aim at the burgeoning terror of a Halloween in which one encounters … “a joke that you won’t like.” In the days leading up to tonight’s trick-or-treating, our elites seem to have honed their vigilance over any signs of cultural appropriation, undue privilege, sad millennials, or even the term “Halloween” in any context outside of the Gaelic druids in your local neighborhood.

To highlight the trend toward offensensitivity even in what had long been considered a holiday purely for fun, Remy offers up one of his best parodies — a spot-on satire of Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” video, renamed “Trigger” … and featuring a costume list that is guaranteed to send the New Puritans into a state of paralysis. Plus, listen for the bonus shot at a Hollywood celebrity for his shock, shock at the Harvey Weinstein scandal, and try to have a fun Hallowee — er, Black and Orange Spirit Day. Also, be sure to note this pro-tip: Don’t punch any Donald Trumps under the age of 12, either.