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FYI from Alex Jones: I will kill and eat my neighbors if circumstances require

To cleanse the palate at the end of a long week. I don’t know what got him going about this; I assume he was complaining about lockdown orders and speculating about what he might have to do to survive if the economy collapses.

But I prefer not to know the context. It’s more enjoyable imagining that he was riffing about the Fed or coronavirus patients being “crisis actors” or whatever and somehow this is where his thoughts ended up.

If the epidemic has taught us anything it’s that we should be prepared for all eventualities in life, however unlikely. So I ask you: Do you have a plan to kill and eat your neighbors?

No? Then maybe you’re not as prepared as you should be.

I will remain forever agnostic about whether this guy is doing a bit or whether he’s truly nuttier than squirrel turds but I continue to believe he’s the most compelling performer in (fringe) political media. This clip is better than 95 percent of the stand-up you’ll ever watch. Purely as a matter of comic timing and phrasing, it’s top-notch.

I added a bonus clip below, which is old and which you’ve probably seen before. But if you haven’t, it’s a treat, a satirist’s repurposing of some of Jones’s most hallucinatory rants. Speaking of using human remains to survive the coronavirus epidemic, your exit question comes from the NYT: Is sewage going to help us control the outbreak? There’s a lot of useful information in dookie.


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