To cleanse the palate, this is the least important thing you’ll read online all day but a must-blog item nonetheless, just because the list of “Goofily Endearing Things Mitt Romney Does That Prove He’s Not Quite Human” is forever being updated.
Remember, this is a man who, when asked what his favorite meat is, replies “hot dog.”
Who, when asked what sort of animal he likes to hunt, answers “small varmints.”
Who may or may not know what a doughnut is.
And who seems to believe there’s a “right height” for trees and will remark upon specimens that meet his criteria.
At this point it’d be almost disappointing if he blew out his birthday candles the way a normal person does. You expect Romney to handle that task the way, say, C-3PO would — genially, but with enough awkwardness to remind you that he’s built out of bolts and steel.
The Twinkie cake is pretty great, though. Exit question: Did he blow them out individually simply for sanitary reasons, to avoid spreading germs? Terrible idea, Mitt. Germ-spreading is healthy!
My team surprised me with a cake made out of my favorite snack—twinkies! Looking forward to all this year has in store. pic.twitter.com/lQfyIrQ9Qe
— Mitt Romney (@MittRomney) March 12, 2019