You know gay-rights activism has gone goofy when the New York Times raises an eyebrow at it.

Some Christians attracted to the same sex try to “pray the gay away,” to the annoyance of LGBT advocates who believe orientation is inborn and that trying to “cure” homosexuality through prayer further stigmatizes it. Well, good news and bad news. The good news: Praying the gay away is out of vogue.

The bad news? Looks like we’re “praying the straight away” instead. In four-year-olds.

Mr. Holdsworth, the provost of St. Mary’s Cathedral in Glasgow, belongs to the Scottish Episcopal Church, a separate province of the Anglican Communion that voted in June to let its priests solemnize same-sex marriages.

In his campaign to expand on that change, Mr. Holdsworth wrote in a blog post on Thursday that believers could “pray in the privacy of their hearts (or in public if they dare) for the Lord to bless Prince George with a love, when he grows up, of a fine young gentleman.” Prince George is the elder child of Prince William and the former Catherine Middleton, now called the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge.

“A royal wedding might sort things out remarkably easily, though we might have to wait 25 years for that to happen,” Mr. Holdsworth wrote. “Who knows whether that might be sooner than things might work out by other means.”

Little George is the future king of England, assuming the UK doesn’t wise up before he reaches adulthood and abolish the monarchy. I’m just a simple small-R republican atheist but isn’t his chief duty — or, really, only duty — as an adult procreation? He’s literally the one member of the royal family for whom it’s essential that he have biological children. And a female surrogate for him and his gay husband probably wouldn’t hack it, given the fact that he’s also destined to be head of a church.

Eh. By the time he’s of marriageable age, men will have wombs and bioengineered babies with two same-sex parents will be feasible. George could be the first king to marry a man and the first king to give birth to his own biological child. Imagine how trendy a royal gay shotgun wedding would be.

But in the meantime, maybe there are more important things for believers to talk to God about than the future sex life of a toddler, yes? If we’re going to pray the straight away, let’s do it for Harvey Weinstein and Matt Lauer. At least their male victims might be able to fight back when they’re assaulted.

Fun fact about Holdsworth, the Anglican minister so committed to his cause that he’s gaming out a pre-schooler’s romantic prospects: He got into trouble last year for holding a service that featured a reading from, uh, the Koran, including a passage about the birth of Jesus, who of course Muslims don’t believe was the son of God. It wasn’t the first time either, as the clip below from a 2014 service illustrates. Is Holdsworth a Christian or a member of the church of tolerance?