We don’t “need” to, I guess, but we’re going to because no one wants to talk about real news while they’re waiting for the polls to close.
Patterico has a Zellweger-esque photo gallery of before and after shots. Somehow, when no one was looking, America’s second-in-command changed his look from “aging car-dealership owner” to, well…
With transplanted anus hair, Botox & hair dye, Joe Biden has morphed into Max Headroom. pic.twitter.com/uapYqYOSmF
— K. Ritz Thomerwiti (@HKTFree) November 4, 2014
No? How about this?
— Jimmy (@JimmyPrinceton) November 4, 2014
By 2020 he’ll look like Fire Marshall Bill. In the meantime, this can mean only one thing: He’s running. Or he’s thinking hard about running. Cosmetic improvements are par for the course for budding presidential candidates, of course. Chris Christie has lost close to a hundred pounds to prepare for his candidacy; beanpole Bobby Jindal has gained a little weight to prepare for his. Wouldn’t surprise me if, after New Year’s, Marco Rubio’s hair suddenly gets a bit thicker than it was. And of course, sometime soon Hillary will walk out for a speech looking like Jennifer Lawrence. That’s when you’ll know Campaign 2016 has truly begun. In the meantime, amuse yourself with the thought that someone “serious” on the Internet will eventually write a thinkpiece about how brave it is for our vice president to go around looking like he’s made of wax, with a surface smooth and wide enough above those eyebrows to show IMAX movies on.
Feel free to use this as an open thread for whatever newsy business you’d like to chat about while we get ready for election night. Exit polls should be out soon, in case you’re inclined to foolishly ignore Ed’s advice and take those seriously. Our threads on the big vote will be up within the hour. And as for poor Diamond Joe Biden, say this much for him: Botox or not, the guy knows how to connect with average Americans. Not all Democrats have that knack, y’know.