In case you’re one of the three people left in America who hasn’t seen this. There’s no “scare” here, really: The image of dudes in moon suits creeping through an airplane’s aisles is eerie (especially if you saw the pilot for “The Strain”) but the flight attendant does a nice job of keeping everyone calm by explaining that it’s the handiwork of one “idiot” onboard. Supposedly he sneezed, then told the passengers around him that he’d been to Africa and said, “I have Ebola, you are all screwed!” Naturally, the airline decided to err on the side of caution (i.e. the opposite side of liability). That’s the jokester at the end being escorted out and muttering sheepishly, “I ain’t from Africa, sh*t.” The flight ended up being delayed two hours. All I could think watching it was that the absurdity of the situation seems tailor-made for a “Seinfeld” episode. George, of course, would be fully convinced that this guy does indeed have Ebola.

I’m curious to know what the moon suits would have done if the idiot had been to Africa and did have a legit case of the sniffles. The incubation period for Ebola can last as long as 21 days; early symptoms are indistinguishable from more mundane ailments. If he was running a fever of 99.5, say, what do they do then? Hold the guy for a day or two until his test results come back or assume it’s nothing and send him on his merry way?