To cleanse the palate, I’m going to say no. Reason one: Prudence dictates that, like the Strategic Petroleum Reserve, the magical horn should be used only in true emergencies. You blow that sucker the day after the debt crisis finally hits, not five or 10 years out. Although, now that I think about it, I don’t know what good it would do even then. Just because George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, and James Madison are demanding that America reform its entitlements doesn’t mean Democrats are going to budge on Social Security. Bring Jesus back to make the case and maybe you’ve got a shot, although they’ll probably just call him a racist.

Reason two: Do you really think this guy, whose ego won’t allow him to so much as mention other presidents without somehow making their stories about him, is about to shove over and let Ben Franklin take the wheel? Please. By now that horn’s been hidden away in some dark nook of a top-secret U.S. military warehouse where no one will find it before 2017. Right next to the Ark.