Never happen. No way could we get this lucky.

Vice President Joe Biden is looking ahead to the 2016 presidential election, according to a new ebook by Glenn Thrush.

“On scheduling calls with staffers from the Democratic congressional and Senate campaign committees, Biden’s representatives always seemed eager to deploy their boss in Pennsylvania, New Hampshire, and Iowa — critical early primary states,” Thrush reports. “They always wanted to know: ‘Do you have anything coming up in Manchester or Des Moines?’ It was pretty obvious,’ said one Democratic consultant who works for a handful of House incumbents.”

Thought experiment: What sort of calamity would have to befall the Democrats to make Joe “Chains, Y’all” Biden a serious contender for the nomination in 2016? If Obama loses to Romney this time, Biden’s damaged goods and destined for retirement. No sane liberal would want to roll the dice on the weak link in this year’s Democratic ticket against President Mitt when the strong link couldn’t get it done. If Obama wins, then Biden’s kinda viable in 2016 but still facing looooong odds. He’ll be almost 74 on election day that year, and he’ll almost surely be facing a strong Republican nominee given how deep the GOP’s bench is right now. When Bush 41 followed Reagan’s two terms with one of his own in 1988, he succeeded a popular, successful president and faced an exceptionally weak opponent in Dukakis. Unless O’s hypothetical second term turns out to be vastly more productive than anyone expects, Biden will have neither of those advantages.

Then there’s the little matter of the competition. Here’s what PPP came up with last week when they polled New Hampshire on the state of the 2016 race:

Yeah, yeah, I know — Hillary won the New Hampshire primary in 2008. So? He’s a sitting VP in a state that went for O. Even if he’s destined to trail her, it shouldn’t be by upwards of 50 points. He’s only one point ahead of Elizabeth Warren, for cripes sake, and her name recognition must be a fraction of what his is. Even if Hillary doesn’t run, the same poll shows Biden up just two points on Warren and four points on Andrew Cuomo without either of them having lifted a finger to campaign there yet. I know Greasy Joe has a gigantic ego but even he’s not so self-deluded as to believe this is happening. Is he?

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