First he gets pounded in the midterms, then Kim Jong-il starts shelling South Korea, now he’s getting flagrantly fouled while shooting hoops with friends and family. What’s next? John Boehner putting a whoopee cushion on his chair during next week’s summit at the White House?

The question on every American’s mind at this hour: So, who’s getting audited?

White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs said the President received a dozen stitches after getting hit with an errant elbow during a Friday morning basketball game with White House aide Reggie Love and some unidentified family members at the Fort McNair military base in Washington.

A senior administration official said the cut was not caused by Love, a former player for Duke University who serves as the President’s personal assistant, but the official was still checking for more details on who caused the accident…

Aides said Obama was given a local anesthetic while receiving [12] stitches, and doctors used a smaller filament. That increases the number of stitches needed to patch up the tear, but it makes a tighter stitch so that the President’s scar on his lower lip should be smaller.

It’s cute that they’re pretending that they’re not sure who elbowed him even though we all know who did it. You learned a lesson today the hard way, champ: When you drive the lane on Hillary, you come strong or don’t come at all.

Exit question: Seriously, what kind of tool is throwing elbows under the rim during a friendly game of basketball with the president? If he goes up for a rebound, just let him grab it. Good lord.

Update: The man responsible for the box-out that shook the world is Rey Decerega of the Congressional Hispanic Caucus Institute.