Sounds weird, I know, but imagine how sweet Olby’s fantasies about my boss being reduced to a “mashed-up” bag of meat will sound crooned by JBJ over a tasty Richie Sambora lick. Sure they’re dehumanizing the opposition. But at least they’re willing to groove on it.

Over the next two months Mr. Bon Jovi, whose new album, “The Circle,” will be released on Nov. 10, will be seen exclusively on shows on outlets owned by NBC Universal. These appearances will include the “Today” show, “The Tonight Show,” “The Jay Leno Show” and “Saturday Night Live” — and even an interview on the “NBC Nightly News” with Brian Williams. Mr. Bon Jovi also will appear on “Inside the Actors Studio” on the Bravo channel of NBC Universal.

Mr. Bon Jovi is being called NBC’s “artist in residence” for the two-month period — and that means he won’t be anywhere else. “Of course you usually try to be out there everywhere, when a new album is coming out,” Mr. Bon Jovi said in a telephone interview on Wednesday. “So we have to sacrifice certain shows and relationships. We hope this doesn’t jeopardize any of them. But in a shrinking media environment, you have to kind of reinvent the wheel.”

Mr. Bon Jovi said he brought the idea to NBC’s chief executive, Jeff Zucker, after Mr. Bon Jovi’s music manager Jack Rovner proposed it…

NBC indicated that it intended to make the artist in residence concept a regular feature of programs on its broadcast and cable channels.

Who’s going to be willing to be NBC’s “artist in residence” going forward? Popular lefty stars, like Springsteen, won’t be willing to sell out to “the man”; NBC will have to aim low. James Taylor, maybe? Black Eyed Peas? Exit question: Does Fox retaliate by hiring the Nuge as its own AIR?