High noon ET, around the dial on cable news, the dream of 18 million Democrats and every Republican in America finally dies. There are navel-gazing feminist valedictions aplenty this morning about What It All Means for women if you’re looking for something to chew on, but if you are, make sure to season liberally beforehand with irony like this:

Many who are close to her blamed the paralysis on Clinton’s lack of faith in her own political judgment, and reliance on her husband in political matters.

“She trusted him more than she trusted herself,” said one adviser.

Fox News insists she’s under pressure to give a great speech, but short of an off-the-cuff aside that she’s still the better candidate or that she expects McCain to win big in November, there’s almost no way she can screw this up. Rah-rah for Obama + misty-eyed tribute to her supporters + Democrats uber alles = sickeningly sweet Strange New Respect for the rest of the weekend from the same media that’s been crapping on her since Obama ran the table in February, and don’t think the public hasn’t noticed. I’ll be watching it on MSNBC for the comic spectacle of Chris Matthews et al. gushing grotesquely afterwards to atone for months of behavior that inspired websites like this.

Anyway, like the boss says, it’s time to put the nice mask on. Sound off below. Exit question one: Does Hillary dare omit a lament about sexism while she has this spotlight? Think how disappointed the sisterhood will be. And exit question two: “For 16 years … you’ve had a lot of—a lot of fun—that you’ve had an opportunity to attack me and I think I’ve given as good as I’ve taken… But as I leave you I want you to know—just think how much you’re going to be missing. You won’t have Nixon to kick around anymore, because, gentlemen, this is my last press conference.” Is this Nixon ’62 or Nixon ’74? Like a liberal watching his most hated enemy flash the V sign and disappear into the presidential helicopter, my feelings at this moment are so, so … nuanced.

Update: The RNC pounces: “Clinton vs. Obama.”

Update: Per the few-days-old video on her front page, she’s still claiming she won the popular vote. Is she going to rub Obama’s face in that again during the speech?

Update: Change.

Update: Yup, she’s really pouring on the grrrrrl power near the end here.