I grudgingly doff my cap to this conspiratorial chud for keeping his cool in the moment upon learning that all of his digital communications for the last several years had been accidentally shared with a hostile lawyer. Most of us would have wet ourselves instantly in the same situation.

And most of us don’t have anything as damning on our own phones as this guy is apt to have.

The grieving parents of children killed in the Sandy Hook massacre are suing him for defamation, a claim that’s now reached the trial stage. No damages have been awarded yet but the parents have already gotten less tangible forms of satisfaction from the process. For instance:

WATCH: Alex Jones testifies the Sandy Hook School massacre was “100% real.”

“[The media] won’t let me take it back,” he added.

pic.twitter.com/HrbsBHcexk

— Breaking911 (@Breaking911) August 3, 2022

I’m not sure how satisfying that really was, though. Scarlett Lewis, whose son Jesse was murdered, reminded Jones in court yesterday, “You’re still on your show today trying to say that I’m, implying that I’m an actress, that I am ‘deep state,’ you have this week.” Imagine having to confront an amoral goblin who monetized your child’s death by pretending it didn’t really happen and grasping for a way to shame him. “My son existed,” an exasperated Lewis told Jones. “I am a real mom.”

He was being questioned today by Mark Bankston, an attorney for the parents, about whether there were any texts on his phone related to Sandy Hook that should properly have been included in discovery between the parties. Apparently Jones testified during a deposition that there weren’t. Which led Bankston to uncork one of the wildest “holy sh*t” moments in American trial history, a revelation so far-fetched that it would have been scrapped as too absurd for a fictional crime drama.

According to Bankston, Jones’s lawyers accidentally turned over the text messages. Not just the text messages about Sandy Hook, which evidently do exist; all of Jones’s text messages. For years.

And then didn’t assert privilege once they knew what they’d done.

What?

“Do you know what perjury is?” pic.twitter.com/awbBpVf4Tl

— Acyn (@Acyn) August 3, 2022

Jones is now potentially facing perjury charges for what he said during the deposition.

His lawyer got up to question him after Bankston finished but didn’t contradict Bankston’s claim. All he asked Jones was whether he trusted that his attorneys were handing over everything that should be handed over. I do, said Jones. Maybe … he shouldn’t have?

Jones’ lawyers have a chance to ask him questions following the revelation that they accidentally released a full copy of Jones’ phone data to the plaintiffs.

They ask Jones if he trusted them to do a good job. I’m not kidding. That’s all. pic.twitter.com/z5Igytd41g

— Angelo Carusone (@GoAngelo) August 3, 2022

I’m not a litigator but I can’t imagine the circumstances in which a lawyer would deliberately turn over every electronic communication a client has had for years instead of just the ones pertinent to the case.

After all, there are other parties who are keen to know what’s in those communications. Like, say, former spouses:

Alex Jones' ex-wife here, and I'm going to subpoena this data! Won a jury, lost my kids for blowing the whistle on infowars. Subpoena request will go out t o d a y.https://t.co/uu90cvQuOl

— Kelly Jones (@RealKellyJones) August 3, 2022

And, uh, congressional committees:

On Wednesday, Sandy Hook victims’ attorney Mark Bankston told Jones that his attorney had mistakenly sent Bankston three years worth of the conspiracy theorist’s emails and text messages copied from his phone.

Now — a source familiar with the matter and another person briefed on it tell Rolling Stone — the January 6th committee is preparing to request that data from the plaintiff attorneys in order to aid its investigation of the insurrection. These internal deliberations among the committee, which is probing former President Donald Trump’s role in causing the deadly Jan. 6 Capitol riot, began within minutes of the lawyer’s revelation being heard on the trial’s livestream on Wednesday afternoon.

Bankston telling Jones that he has all of his texts, which may or may not include those related to a coup attempt orchestrated by the then-president two years ago, is probably the wackiest moment from this trial. But I don’t know. Per Mediaite, the bar is high:

In yet another wild moment, Bankston showed Jones a clip from his show in which he connected Judge Gamble to pedophilia and insulted the jury.

The first clip connects Gamble to Child Protective Services (CPS), which Jones’s show claimed is associated with pedophilia and child trafficking.

Bankston then noted other clips showed the judge on fire. “The judge is the fire burning lady liberty … the judge is consuming freedom,” Jones said, explaining the images.

He’s also been bragging on his show about the financial techniques he’s using to try to shield his assets from the parents in case he loses. But other than that, the trial’s going great.