Hillary: Here's the victory speech I was going to read on election night 2016

For God’s sake. Who told her this was a good idea?

Is this country really doomed to have Mitt Romney be the last presidential loser to accept his defeat with dignity?

If she wants to revisit a moment of glory that was denied her, she should do what Trump does and put out insane press releases whining about imaginary election fraud every three hours.

NBC has posted an eight-minute clip of her reading the speech which I haven’t mustered the patience to sit through. Hopefully she took care to thank Christopher Steele and Igor Danchenko for their contributions to her victory.

The opening is noteworthy, though:

“My fellow Americans, today you sent a message to the whole world,” she says. “Our values endure. Our democracy stands strong. And our motto remains: e pluribus unum. Out of many, one.

“We will not be defined only by our differences. We will not be an us versus them country. The American dream is big enough for everyone. Through a long, hard campaign, we were challenged to choose between two very different visions for America. How we grow together, how we live together, and how we face a world full of peril and promise together.

“Fundamentally, this election challenged us to decide what it means to be an American in the 21st century. And for reaching for a unity, decency, and what President Lincoln called ‘the better angels of our nature.’ We met that challenge.”

I … guess we didn’t?

‘I’ve met little boys and girls who didn’t understand why a woman has never been president before,” she went on to say. “Now they know, and the world knows, that in America, every boy and every girl can grow up to be whatever they dream — even president of the United States.”

I guess they don’t.

Fortunately, little boys and girls would go on to learn four years later that every girl can grow up to be vice president, at least, so long as she checks the right demographic boxes for the old white guy at the top of the ticket. Basic competence not required.

Speaking of which, Democrats are looking for a fallback option in 2024 in case Biden’s too old for another four years. You don’t suppose…

She’s younger than Biden and Trump. She seems to be in good health. And her incandescent ambition will never fade. She’s even got a victory speech pre-written!