Every epidemic proceeds in (mostly) predictable stages and right now we’re at the stage where the governor of New York brags about the “floral bouquet” of the hand disinfectant being manufactured by his state’s prisoners. If China can solve its coronavirus problem partly through slave-like labor, then darn it, we can solve ours the same way.

Although, based on the general quality of government-made products, I’m going to guess that this item will accidentally end up giving people coronavirus.

“To Purell and Mr. Amazon and Mr. eBay,” he said elsewhere today, “if you continue the price gouging, we’ll introduce our product, which is superior to your product.” This guy knows how laws of supply and demand work, right? (Of course not, he’s a Democrat.) If he wants to sign an executive order allowing Purell to pay workers 50 cents an hour or whatever NYS prisoners are getting, maybe the price-gouging problem will go away.

Seriously, this is one of the most surreal clips of a top government official I’ve ever seen. The “open the curtains” unveiling makes it downright campy. Watch, then read on.

“This is a superior product to products now on the market”: Gov. Cuomo announces new state-made hand sanitizer https://t.co/XFEOh6t5Uy pic.twitter.com/HrPyErPHsT

— CBS News (@CBSNews) March 9, 2020

Hopefully a glut of hand sanitizer will sharply limit the spread of the disease in New York. And if it doesn’t, there’s another job waiting for state prisoners.

This made me laugh:

This bottle of Purell I found in the car this weekend is my 401k now. pic.twitter.com/WSzzh08Vhl

— Jennifer Brrrrrooks 🥶 (@stribrooks) March 9, 2020

The rationing stage has already begun. You’ll have to look hard to find hand sanitizer on Amazon, and Target has begun limiting customers to a maximum of six disinfecting items in order to prevent hoarding. A weird quirk: Hand soap seems to be plentiful everywhere even though soap and water is the oft-repeated gold standard among health officials for how to minimize your risk of contracting the virus. Which stands to reason, as water will rinse some microbes off your hands even if you miss a spot in lathering up. People who work outdoors or in service industries and don’t have ready access to soap and water while they’re interacting with customers all day long obviously have a need for sanitizer, but desk workers have less of one. When will Cuomo commandeer distribution of Purell to those in the greatest need? We aren’t at that stage yet, but stay tuned.