Ole Miss pisses the game away -- literally

Well, not literally literally. No urine was expelled.

Or rather, no urine was visibly expelled. Only Ole Miss receiver Elijah Moore knows for sure.

“Literally the greatest ending to a game in the 150-year history of college football, and it’s not even close,” tweeted Dave “Iowahawk” Burge afterward about yesterday’s conclusion to Ole Miss vs. Mississippi State. I’d put it third, behind the Kick Six and the Cal/Stanford insanity from 1982, but I’m open to persuasion. For all the excitement those games had on the last play, they didn’t have a dude getting down on all fours and lifting his leg to mimic a dog doing its business in the other team’s end zone, did they?

If it’s not the greatest ending to a college football game ever, it’s historic at least for having featured the single dumbest penalty ever incurred on a gridiron.

To set the stage, Ole Miss trailed Mississippi State 21-14 late in the fourth quarter. The stakes were high: This was not only a SEC match-up, it’s a bitter state rivalry that’s been known to result in on-field brawls. For extra drama, Mississippi State was sitting on five wins entering the game and needed one more to become eligible for a bowl game. Ole Miss started its final possession on its own 18-yard-line, but they began to drive — even converting on a fourth-and-24 do-or-die with a 57-yard pass. With just four seconds left, set up at Mississippi State’s two-yard-line, Ole Miss quarterback Matt Corral found Moore with a pass to the left side; Moore caught it at the one, was hit immediately, but bounced off and pushed his way into the end zone to — presumably — tie the game. He was the hero, the man who’d caught the game-tying TD.

And then everything went to sh*t. I mean piss:

Weirdly, this wasn’t the first time in recent memory that Ole Miss has celebrated a touchdown this way against Mississippi State. Two years ago, receiver D.K. Metcalf caught a 63-yard pass for a touchdown and rejoiced by lifting his leg in MSU’s end zone. He drew a 15-yard penalty for unsportsmanlike conduct as a result.

So Ole Miss can’t say they weren’t warned that the refs wouldn’t tolerate a reprise.

The flag was duly thrown on Moore after his stunt, backing the team up 15 yards on the extra-point try to tie the game. That meant two things. First, if there was any thought on the Ole Miss sideline to go for the win with a two-point conversion, the penalty ended it. Second, kicker Luke Logan would need to convert the extra point from 35 yards away instead of the usual 20-yard chip shot. For a pro-caliber kicker, that’s not a problem.

For a college-caliber kicker? Problem.

You can guess what happened next:

On top of everything else, MSU coach Joe Moorhead will collect a $50,000 bonus from the school for his sixth win of the season, making Moore’s end-zone shtick one of the most expensive dog leaks in history.

“That’s not who we are. We’ve been a disciplined team all year, and so just disappointed that happened,” said Matt Luke, the head coach of the losing team, after the game. I don’t know — if you’ve been flagged twice in two years for miming canine urination, maybe that is “who you are.” Anyway, condolences on a tough loss to fans of Ole Piss. I mean Miss. Exit question: The annual game between these two teams is known as the Egg Bowl. After this, it’s got to be the Toilet Bowl, no?