You know the building I’m talking about. The one with the bar across the door — on the outside, not the inside, presumably to keep people in.

But seriously, what's up with this weird temple thing on Jeffrey Epstein's private island? pic.twitter.com/njxfg2HahN

— Jon Gabriel (@exjon) July 9, 2019

Nothing too weird there. Just a striped cube with a golden dome located in a spot known locally as “Pedophile Island” owned by a guy who allegedly fantasized about seeding the planet with his DNA.

I’m open to all theories. Maybe it’s a supervillain’s lair from which Epstein was plotting world domination. Maybe it’s ground zero for some occult sex ritual involving practices so dark, illicit, and elaborate that this prolific degenerate’s actual home simply wouldn’t do to host it. Maybe it’s the above-ground part of a secret nursery housing his 800 children. If you have a better idea, fire away.

Its ostensible purpose is as a music room, with the centerpiece a grand piano. That’s what the drawings submitted for approval to Virgin Islands authorities showed, in any event. But the actual building looks different, per NBC:

Drawings supplied by Epstein’s architects to the U.S. Virgin Islands agency that oversees coastal development show that it was designed to be a haven for music: an octagonal 3,500-square-foot pavilion housing a grand piano…

Those 2010 plans, which were part of a permit application that raised concerns inside the agency, included drawings of a building that looks almost nothing like the structure that was built.

The drawings show a building with a 10-foot facade, stone exterior and multiple windows on the front. The structure that was erected has no windows or stone exterior and appears to rise at least 30 feet…

It’s no surprise that Epstein would have wanted a grand music room on his private island. Friends and former co-workers have described Epstein, a wealthy financier now accused of trafficking and sexually abusing young girls, as a talented pianist.

Follow the link and compare the intended design to photos of the finished product. The former has eight sides, a stone facade, and is surrounded by a covered porch; the latter has four sides, the garish striped paint job, and no porch but rather a pavilion with a strange labyrinth motif. It’s not a “tweak” of the original plan. It looks completely different.

NBC also claims that the current building has no windows, although that seems clearly incorrect based on photos. Aren’t those windows in the pic above? Even if not, the bigger photo that accompanies NBC’s story shows what looks like a giant set of French doors on one side of the building, or at least a series of windows reminiscent of French doors.

Which, maybe, supports the theory that it really is a flamboyant music room. After all, if Epstein had a nefarious purpose for what appears to be a single-room structure, presumably he would have built it without windows in order to hide the activities inside from prying eyes on boats in the waters around the island. And logically he wouldn’t have gone out of his way to call attention to the building with a strange paint scheme and outlandish golden dome. If he intended to commit crimes there, he would have been better off following the original mundane design and passing it off as a “music room.” The temple-ish thing he ended up with is essentially a neon sign to observers reading, YOU SHOULD BE CONCERNED.

Then again, look who we’re talking about here. What sort of guy would conceivably build a temple to his own perversion, practically advertising the sinister goings-on inside? Answer: A guy with all the money in the world, who’d operated with impunity for decades and ended up with the lightest possible wrist-slap once he was finally nabbed for sex offenses by federal and state authorities.

Maybe we should be grateful for his restraint with the design. Based on his history, he could have added a sign reading, QUIET: PEDOPHILIA HAPPENING INSIDE, and presumably suffered no consequences.

Exit question: What’s that other small structure on the island connected by a path to the temple? (Visible in the photo here.) Is it a secret underground entrance, as the Internet is eager to believe? Or is it just a cistern or a utility shed, as architects seem to believe?

Update: Well then! I don’t see a piano, but I do see something that looks a bit like a bed. There clearly are windows, though, and they’re not blacked out.