Trump's finest hour: The insane Clemson championship fast-food extravaganza gorgefest

Neil Gorsuch’s confirmation was perhaps finer. But nothing ever has or ever will better distill the essence of Trump’s appeal than this photo from the White House Twitter account, which rocketed across the Internet last night after Trump hosted Clemson football for dinner:

It’s all there. The presidential showman. The weirdly alluring mix of high taste, in the form of White House finery and candelabras, and low. The sheer gluttonous excess of that spread. And of course Honest Abe presiding over it all in portrait, deep in thought at the decadent-in-every-sense tableau before him. I joked last night that it looks like a scene from a Willy Wonka remake except with fast food instead of chocolate, but it’s only a half-joke. Trump is a Wonka character of a sort, a rich eccentric who understands better than most what the average person craves. Imagine winning a national championship in football, getting invited to the White House to meet the president, and arriving to find an all-you-can-eat banquet of the tastiest slop concocted by the world’s fast-food industry laid out on silver platters. It’s an American kid’s fantasy come to life. I’ve never liked him more.

The only thing missing is women in bikinis. And you know if it was up to Trump they would have been there too.

Ironically, it never would have happened if not for the shutdown. The White House would have put out a traditional spread for the team but much of the hospitality staff has been furloughed. So POTUS treated them to his favorite food instead:

The two greatest moments most of those kids will ever experience happened in the span of a week. One: Running Bama off the field in the national title game. Two: Booting in the White House bathroom after knocking down seven Big Macs.

Until this morning, when it tweeted out this video, the only photos of the event on the official White House Twitter account were of Trump posing with the food, none of him with the players. That’s one of many laughs to come out of this ridiculous spectacle:

There was no Taco Bell among the spread, interestingly. Although, as many people joked, maybe Trump will get Taco Bell to pay for it.

He threw in this line too when addressing the players. There’ll be some chin-pulling about this today in the media:

Sexist implications aside, the image of glamorous Melania Trump personally preparing a trough of salad for 100 football players is itself worth its weight in Quarter Pounders.

Anyway, condolences to Clemson players on their explosive diarrhea today.

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