The obligatory "waitress takes down customer who grabbed her butt" clip

Something to cleanse the palate in case you’re one of the three people online who hasn’t seen it already. Your quote of the day: “I looked at him and I said, ‘You don’t touch me, motherf—–!’”

Think about all of the aggravation this moron has caused himself because he thought he was entitled to cop a feel with the help while out for a slice of pizza:

1. He’s been charged with sexual battery, which in Georgia is defined as intentionally making “physical contact with the intimate parts of the body of another person without the consent of that person.” They’ve got him seemingly dead to rights thanks to the video. Sexual battery is a “high and aggravated” misdemeanor punishable by a fine of up to $5,000 or a jail sentence of up to 12 months, or both. A second conviction for sexual battery is a felony, punishable by no less than a year in prison and as much as five years. If this guy happens to have a rap sheet, he’s in big trouble.

2. Lord only knows how bad the personal fallout will be:

He is from Palm Bay, Florida, the father of infant twin girls, and in a long-term relationship with their mother.

Cherwinski and Erica Martin have been together for 11 years, and she was with him at the restaurant when he groped their server and was arrested.

Disrespecting not just the waitress but the mother of your children by groping a stranger — right there in front of her, and now it’s a national #MeToo lesson? Prison is the least of his worries.

3. Thanks to the magic of viral video, he’ll spend at least the next few years being known to everyone he meets as “that guy who got tossed like a ragdoll by a woman half his size after he grabbed her ass.” That sounds like the premise of a lighter episode of “Black Mirror.”

Exit quotation: “[Cherwinski] told police that ‘it was an accident that he grabbed the waitress, that he was only trying to inform her to move because she was in the way.'” Wut?

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