In lieu of a Quotes of the Day, your obligatory open thread for political media’s favorite annual freak show. A partial guest list: George Clooney, Allen West, Steven Spielberg, Eric Holder, Kate Upton, David Petraeus, Kim Kardashian, Ray Odierno, Lindsay Lohan, Leon Panetta, Meghan McCain, Rand Paul, Sandra Fluke (the last two at the same table), “Uggie” from “The Artist,” and more. Also attending is Nationals’ GM Mike Rizzo, who’s surely the only baseball fan in America watching this dreck tonight instead of Bryce Harper’s debut in L.A.

The keynoter is Jimmy Kimmel. Time for a searing Colbertian roast of O’s many first-term disappointments? All signs point to no:

* On presumptive Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney: “Mitt Romney looks like a Sears catalog model.”

* On former candidate Rick Santorum: “I am fascinated by Rick Santorum … and the array of things he’s fighting for. Why bring pornography into it? What does that have to do with running for the White House? You are losing the male vote basically by going against pornography.”…

* On President Barack Obama: “If I was filling out a bracket, my bet would be that he would win.”…

“It’s hard to make fun of Obama in general because he’s a cool character,” Kimmel said. “Outside of his ears, there’s not a whole lot.”

So, yeah, it’s going to be that kind of night. Should be plenty of Mitt Romney and “war on women” material, though, and with Fluke in the audience, the Rush Limbaugh gags are a fait accompli. Dare we hope for a “Seamus on the car roof” joke or two? This is why it’s important to watch, my friends. Unless you’re a baseball fan.

In fairness to O, his own routines at these things are usually solid. C-SPAN’s coverage begins at 6:30 ET with the red carpet, if you can believe it, and then the show will start rolling at around 9. (It’ll livestream online as well.) Here’s your thread for snarking. If you’re going to watch, I recommend following Twitter’s “WHCD” and “nerdprom” hashtags too, as the blend of live tweets from people who are there and envy/irritation from politicos who aren’t is usually more entertaining than the dinner itself. In fact, as of eight hours before the speeches are set to begin, the Lohan-tweeting was already in fine form.