Devastating: Hollywood to remake ... "Police Academy"

I’ve been trying to cope with the news all day, but … it’s too much.

When I grieve, you grieve with me. That’s the way this site works.

New Line is looking for recruits for a relaunched “Police Academy” movie. Original producer Paul Maslansky is back for the new iteration, which has no writer or director attached…

“It’s going to be very worthwhile to the people who remember it and to those who saw it on TV,” Maslansky said. “It’s going to be a new class. We hope to discover new talent and season it with great comedians. It’ll be anything but another movie with a numeral next to it. And we’ll most probably retain the wonderful musical theme.”

The early entries in the series featured sexual humor, but later films became more kid-friendly. Details of the tone of new movie, which would take the story to its beginnings with new characters, were unavailable.

Compounding the depression is the fact that I remember when the original “Police Academy” came out, which isn’t the first time this year that that’s happened with a Hollywood remake. Can it really be that the industry is so short on good comic scripts that it’s come to this? (Why, yes it can.) Does America need Ryan Reynolds as Mahoney and Zach Galifianakis as that spastic Bobcat Goldthwaite character? You know they’re going to cast Tracy Morgan as Larvell Jones and he’s going to simply reek at the sound effects, right?

Silver lining? There’s at least a chance that we get Christina Hendricks as Callahan. Exit question: What happens to all the Blue Oyster jokes this time? Very un-PC, baby.