Video: Unmarried teen dad inexplicably now a corporate pitchman

Funny thing: Just this morning, I was skimming the headlines at People and thinking Jon Gosselin must surely be the seediest no-name D-bag “celebrity” on the American landscape.

But I was wrong, wasn’t I?

I want to call this tool a Federline for our age, but even that doesn’t quite work because K-Fed was, at least, a celebrity spouse. That is to say, Johnston’s actually a step down on the “accomplishment” scale from Kevin Federline. But of course, that’s the point of the ad: As you’ll see from the second clip, he’s not the only attractive imbecile who stumbled into his Z-list celebrity status to be featured in this campaign.