Video: Summer blockbusters looking dumber, awesomer than ever

To cleanse the palate, the trailers for two of the biggest movies of the year: “Generic Industrial Light & Magic Explosion Flick” and “Megan Fox In Cutoffs With Robots,” respectively. It’s a testament to how incidental the plots are to these FX orgies that the one directed by Michael Bay actually seems to be the more lucid of the two. I don’t know why they bother with plot at all anymore, frankly; they might as well open these movies with battle scenes sans exposition, a la “Saving Private Ryan,” and just let the mayhem roll for two hours. If the audience deduces some sort of plotline along the way, great! If not, hey — you got your money’s worth. Stop complaining.

Fun fact about Megan Fox: She’s a “10” on the Kade Scale. Kade fans will know what a truly monumental achievement that is. Exit question: Since Hollywood’s evidently intent on turning every cheesy afternoon cartoon from the 1980s into a feature film, when do we get “Voltron: The Movie”?

G.I. JOE trailer in HD