Onion exclusive: Media can't find an angle on Obama's double homicide

The meat is too red and the comedy too gold to leave this languishing in Headlines. They deserve boatloads of traffic for the effort; forward the link to a media-hating conservative in your life.

Like Karl says, the sweetest part is that they used the names of editors known to inhabit the deepest parts of the Obama tank.

“What exactly is the news hook here?” asked Rick Kaplan, executive producer of the CBS Evening News. “Is this an upbeat human-interest story about a ‘day in the life’ of a bloodthirsty president who likes to kill people? Or is it more of an examination of how Obama’s unusual upbringing in Hawaii helped to shape the way he would one day viciously butcher two helpless citizens in their own home?”

“Or maybe the story is just that murder is cool now,” Kaplan continued. “I don’t know. There are a million different angles on this one.”

I don’t want to quote more or else people might not follow the link. Suffice it to say, there’s a big finish involving the New York Times. Enjoy.