Everybody involved — all eight of ’em — walks, including the golden boy:

Lott said his investigators couldn’t find enough evidence to charge anyone — including Phelps — who attended the party with any crime…

By Wednesday, he said, officers had found the bong believed used in the headline-making photo.

“The bong never made it to e-bay,” Lott said, noting the people who had it were riding around in a car with it.

I was going to post the video of the sheriff’s comically somber press conference announcing that charges won’t be filed, but we can do better than that. Watch it here if you’re curious. Instead, I’m giving you the ultimate humiliation Phelps has had to endure, the capper on a series of them: Apologizing for his weed habits to a country that executes political prisoners by the thousands and is notorious for its egregious cheating in competition. Imagine how doped up China’s swimmers must have been at the Games this past summer, and he still whipped their asses. Shame on him for doing this.