A story tailor-made for angry, pointless Internet debate. Why, I haven’t felt this strongly about something this dumb since that 100-0 girls’ basketball game!

First the suspension:

The band’s leader calls it a violation of the rules, captured by CNN. Coleman has been suspended as drum major for six months.

“We had gone over and over time and again with everyone in the band that this was a military parade. Protocol and proper decorum had to be followed at all times,” said bandleader Pipe Major Mike Engle. “Unfortunately, John chose to ignore that.”

And now the inevitable comically overwrought denouement:

“There are too many bridges burned with the pipe band, too many hurt feelings on both sides,” said Coleman, 53, fire inspector for Cleveland Heights and a 17-year veteran of the band…

“There are some of the members of the band who wouldn’t want me back,” said Coleman, who as the drum major was the face of the organization and was often interviewed by the media.

“I figure it’s best for the band if I leave,” he said.

The inaugural parade is a “military parade”? And since when are firefighters bound by military rules? One-week suspension, tops. Exit question: They’re just jealous that he became a media darling for the wave, right?