Video: "Star Wars" through the eyes of someone who hasn't seen it

Marginally less coherent than “Star Wars” through the eyes of a three-year-old. But still vastly more coherent than “The Phantom Menace.”

Watching this, it occurred to me that I wouldn’t have the easiest time reconstructing the plots of the trilogy either. It’s like drawing a map of the U.S.: You’ve seen it so many times that you’ve long since stopped paying close attention, so all that comes through when you try to recall it is bits and pieces. For instance, the span in “Empire Strikes Back” between the opening snow battle and Han coming face to face with Vader in Cloud City? Total blank. I know Luke hooks up with Yoda at some point and they do their Carlos Castaneda thing in the swamp, but the specifics have long since been digested by the Sarlacc that is my memory.

As for the prequels, all I remember is this. And that’s enough.