There’s no actual footage of her plastered to the can, thank god, just the haunted look of the cop who saw it and lived to tell the tale. It’s too awful to joke about, especially when you hear about the physical repercussions, but, er, what’s the deal with the “boyfriend”? Your quote of the day:

Babcock’s boyfriend said the two had a normal relationship — except that it all happened in the bathroom.

They’ve lived together for 16 years, since she was 19, which I guess shows a certain … devotion? His justification for not doing something sooner: “She is an adult; she made her own decision.” Exit question: Anyone not think there’s a lot more to their “relationship” than meets the eye?