https://hotair.com/archives/allahpundit/2008/12/27/the-most-ironic-christmas-gift-evah/
Update: From the comments, a third option focusing on the "pundit" part: "May you so successfully state your case that all are convinced and your labors are no longer needed." … With "the compliments of the season" -- which is as far as Mr. Jefferson would go at this distraught season. … I won't bother asking you who has the best boss in the world; we already know…
https://hotair.com/archives/allahpundit/2011/10/19/obligatory-the-godfathers-pizza-taste-test/
We're not testing his business acumen, in other words, we're testing whether GF really is this mediocre or whether it's getting a bum rap. … If you're a Cain fan and unhappy with the results of the taste test here, don't sweat it -- Cain's 15 years removed from the company and the judges are sampling a pie that's at least two hours old. … I wanted to write about this skin-crawling piece in the NYT addressing the very important question of whether Herman Cain's humor is too "minstrelsy," but there's nothing left to say after John Nolte utterly destroyed it…
But c'mon -- it took guts, and was obviously the handiwork of a man who knows what he wants and isn't afraid to risk rejection in front of the world. … I figure he's one NYT/WaPo puff piece away from galvanizing national momentum that's every bit as formidable as, say, the Coffee Party's. … Last week, the Today show was covering Navy SEALs breaking into Osama Bin Laden's compound and shooting him in the face…
https://hotair.com/archives/allahpundit/2014/06/04/video-are-you-ready-for-the-barack-obama-workout/
Not only can't the president get 30 minutes alone in the gym, but the Secret Service is okay with people whipping out electronic devices and pointing them at him? … The Secret Service insists that there was no security breach and that people visiting the gym while he was there had the same right to take a picture of him as they would have had if he had booked a table next to them at a restaurant. Really? … Don't be too judge-y, though: In his defense, he's going to be 53 this year and has a job that keeps him pretty busy, what with all the celebrity dinners and golfing and horrendously bad prisoner swaps and all…
My guess is that that's when kids finally become intelligent enough to follow verbal commands semi-consistently, but I have a feeling I'm about to be disabused of that notion in the comments rather strenuously. … I have no parental anecdotes to share here, but can report that I received the helpful corrective slap well past the age of six and suffered no discernible ill effects. … But the study also revealed that children who are smacked after the age of six were more likely to exhibit behavioural problems, such as being involved in fights…
Social conservatives eager to save the U.S. some of the $16 billion spent each year treating the 20 million or so new cases of STDs contracted annually by infringing on your sexual freedom will not be warmly welcomed by Bloomberg-style nannies. … Mike Bloomberg's also usually careful to work up a number on whatever problematic behavior his latest ticky-tack nanny initiative is designed to address. … Pro tip for the school board: If you want to build support for banning something, try to put a price tag on it instead of resorting to nebulous claims about what the practice might do to kids' self-esteem. E.g…
(Yeah, Kindle books are cheaper than paperbacks, but that's offset -- and then some -- by the device's purchase price.) Also, how are they for reading newspapers? … Pro: Picture me at a Starbucks in Manhattan, nursing a mocha frap and looking thoughtful while I use the text-to-speech function to listen to "The Audacity of Hope. … Thinner than an iPhone, seven times the memory of the original Kindle, and a display crisp enough to show photos on: No wonder PopSci says it rocks…
https://hotair.com/archives/allahpundit/2017/04/17/funny-great-trump-autograph-psych/
Update: Most of the jokes I've seen today about the six-foot-tall Easter Bunny beside Trump mention Chris Christie, but this one's pretty good too … I think he did it absent-mindedly, although I've never seen a celebrity even absent-mindedly autograph a piece of merchandise a fan has handed to him and then just toss it into the crowd. … To cleanse the palate on a slow news day, the funniest Trump moment since he gave out Lindsey Graham's cell-phone number at a campaign rally…
Two clips for you here, one from today's "Friends with Benefits" promo and the other, via the LA Times, of a cute interview with the parents of the Marine who asked her to the ball. … Libertarian is a better bet, but there's circumstantial evidence that she's a supporter of Israel and, alas, that doesn't sound like many libertarians I know. … I'm guessing no, just because it's hard to imagine a conservative existing happily in a Seth MacFarlane production for years on end…
https://hotair.com/archives/allahpundit/2007/03/16/scientists-manly-men-heal-faster/
For example, a brawny boy might think, "Yeah there are tough challenges, but nothing will stop me from reaching my goal," the scientists state in a report of this study published in a recent issue of the journal Psychology of Men and Masculinity. … " The participants who believed it was appropriate to hold in their emotions, be self-reliant and have power over women had less favorable views toward seeking psychological help. … The participants completed questionnaires that measured the degree to which they bought into masculine norms, such as physical strength, sexual performance, independence and successful career achievement…
What the Corps needs is an elite squad of beta males who are too timid to react -- an A-Team of candy-ass RINOs, if you will -- to ride herd on the grunts while they're on leave and in danger of being compromised. Sgt. … "These women will elicit from their males what kind of job they have, and determine if they have a security clearance, and then try to develop the relationship further, until the woman believes the male is ready to be approached by the actual case officer, who will then try to recruit him to commit espionage," the officer said. … U.S. Marines preparing for shore leave in the Seychelles islands were having a standard security briefing this week when they were shown photos of a figure who's been in the news lately: Russian spy suspect Anna Chapman…
I don't mind seeing her lose, but I'll cop to a very dark secret: Thanks partly to my hunch that we'd have an easier time with her than Obama in the election and/or as president, partly to my impatience with the vapid, messianic "change" crap Obama's peddling, and partly to my instinctive sympathy as a beta male for anyone who's been humiliated, I ... kind of feel a little sorry for her. … The Clinton true believers, god love 'em, are putting on a brave face even as the new Marist poll contemplates the outside chance of a disastrous third-place finish tomorrow. … (a) ...the Clinton campaign, to give Edwards false hope of her exiting early and thereby encourage him to stay in the race until Super Tuesday so that he can continue to draw votes from Obama…
Obviously there'll be other guys who follow his lead and the pressure will be on for other gorgeous young starlets not to say no. … Step three: Hope that some entertainment reporter stumbles across it and asks Mila Kunis about it -- on camera, preferably. … I'm trying to read this guy's mind and figure out whether he cut the video as a goof, just messing around on a slow day at war, or whether this was actually part of a brilliantly clever scheme to make it happen…
Two clips here, actually, one of the forbidden duet and the other of the newest "Sesame Street" production -- a spoof of the hypersexual HBO vampire drama "True Blood. … In light of the feedback we've received on the Katy Perry music video which was released on You Tube only, we have decided we will not air the segment on the television broadcast of Sesame Street, which is aimed at preschoolers. … We use parodies and celebrity segments to interest adults in the show because we know that a child learns best when co-viewing with a parent or care-giver…
We'll be arguing again tomorrow, and for the ... rest of eternity, probably, but I'd prefer to return graciousness with graciousness. … How would I have framed it -- hey, I made John Hawkins' most-respected conservatives list on the same day as KO's Best Persons list? … I'm so relieved it's Ed, too: Someone on Twitter told me he had named me best person for yesterday's post about the Paulnut with the gun outside Obama's town hall…
" Super PAC ads, as though that fact's not already priced into his stock, and then suddenly Trump's on cable news every morning talking about Rubio's eligibility being in doubt, his immigration record being dubious, and how America can't send a boy to do a man's job. … Cruz fans understood the value of patience and detente with Trump very well for the last six months of 2015; now Rubio's following the same strategy, minus the sick-making "Trump is terrific!" nonsense that Cruz laid on him, for another week. … Cruz has been dropping heavy ordnance on Trump for two months, prosecuting the case daily that Trump is a phony conservative and an enemy of the little guy (most recently in Nevada by noting that Trump wants to leave federally owned land in the government's hands)…
https://hotair.com/archives/allahpundit/2008/12/18/finally-burger-king-cologne-debuts/
My gut tells me women will find it laughable and/or repulsive, which, since I have the instincts of a beta male, pretty much guarantees that they'll find it irresistible. … National Ledger calls it "real life Sex Panther," which (a) already exists, actually, and (b) should be enough to entice any true "Anchorman" fan into ponying up and seeing whether it, in fact, stings the nostrils. … While the notes of the body spray do not specifically refer to the scent of meat, it can't be denied there is something seductive and manly about meat being grilled over an open flame…
Professor Walters, clinical associate professor of obstetric medicine at the University of Western Australia and the King Edward Memorial Hospital in Perth, called for condoms and "greenhouse-friendly" services such as sterilisation procedures to earn carbon credits. … Writing in today's Medical Journal of Australia, Associate Professor Barry Walters said every couple with more than two children should be taxed to pay for enough trees to offset the carbon emissions generated over each child's lifetime. … It's nice for once to hear him using "we" in that context without meaning the United States, although that's the practical effect: He's already on record as saying China shouldn't have to go green until America does, and since it's unlikely that developing nations will risk retarding their growing economies with draconian anti-industrial measures, the only "we" who can be counted on -- or properly expected by the conscientious multiculturalist -- to do anything about the problem is the west…
Exit question three: Does this mean the beta-male minority in New York can accuse David Paterson of trying to harm them personally with his policy stances? … Spending money at the federal level that we do not have represents a future tax increase on all South Carolinians, regardless of their color - and in the process of doing so, he's ripping off everyone he claims to represent." … A spokesman from the governor's office says, "Representative Clyburn is no stranger to playing the race card, because he has no defense for the runaway spending and the deficits contained in this so-called stimulus bil that will hurt our economy…
He said running the website only takes four hours a month, and he said his craftsman skills were overstated by the program, which showed him working on his adult-sized high chair. … In an email response to The Washington Times, Mr. Thornton threatened to kill himself if his Social Security payments are taken away, and said the television episode showing him doing woodwork oversold his abilities. … "Given that Mr. Thornton is able to determine what is appropriate attire and actions in public, drive himself to complete errands, design and custom-make baby furniture to support a 350-pound adult and run an Internet support group, it is possible that he has been improperly collecting disability benefits for a period of time," Mr. Coburn wrote in a letter Monday to Inspector General Patrick P. O'Carroll Jr…
Now that we've reached this point, with breadless lard bombs freely available to American adults, there's really only one frontier left to cross. … Last August, we wrote about the "Double Down," a mysteriously tempting (and potentialy lethal) new food item being tested by KFC. … (Check Google News if you don't believe me.) Just as the iPad pares down personal computing to its sweetest, most instantly gratifying essentials, so too does this M-80 of meat, fat, and salt…
https://hotair.com/archives/allahpundit/2007/11/28/hitch-gets-waxed-names-his-newly-shorn-schwanz/
To call this a "growth industry" might be a slight mistake: the J Sisters will not rest until every blade has been torn from every crevice. … Stunned into silence, I listened slack-jawed as she told of her plans to expand into the London market, and to fly to Dubai to demonstrate her technique. … No, it's part of his jokey self-improvement series for Vanity Fair, in which our curmudgeonly litterateur goes to the spa, the dentist, and the salon in a semi-successful bid to turn an aging British man into an aging American one…
I think Cruz would have no choice but to hit back and to do it as politely as possible, hoping that the spectacle of him RINO-stomping Trump would appeal to some undecided anti-Trump voters on the right and boost his numbers that way. … If you like Cruz because he's willing to tell Mitch McConnell to go to hell, watching him rapidly backpedal from Trump -- who's really not even pretending to be conservative at this point -- is gross, whatever the strategic considerations. … " Some Cruz fans probably prefer him to Trump because they'd rather nominate a populist who's conservative, because they respect Cruz as a man of faith, because they like Cruz's polished speaking style more than Trump's, etc…
To sum up: On a day when Lebanon is falling apart, Egypt's reeling from the biggest democratic protests it's seen in years, and the Palestinian Authority may or may not be facing a looming revolt in the West Bank over "the Palestine Papers," our elected representatives are playing musical chairs and talking about "cooties. … Cantor and Hoyer were scheduled to have lunch Tuesday, and Cantor noted that while he and Hoyer met throughout the last Congress, he and Pelosi did not... … House Majority Leader Eric Cantor (R-Va.) invited Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) to sit next to him at the State of the Union address — but the former House Speaker says she's already committed…
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